Reinvention

I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve reinvented myself. My husband kids about wife version 2.0 or 4.6 or version 486. He says it with great affection. He’s a very adaptable guy. I’ve had a bazillion different haircuts, numerous make-up looks, a bunch of clothing styles and some varied athletic pursuits. But that’s what makes life interesting, right?

I think our world is in the midst of reinvention. I know that Mother Nature must roll with the crazy punches that humanity throws at her. But I’m talking about our world as in our way of life.

Coronavirus wasn’t just a pause. I thought it would be a hiccup, but it’s been more like a tsunami.

At first, there was shock and awe. Then there was panic. Next I saw determination and a touch of resilience. After that, some just put their heads down and forged on; others fell into depression, while still others worked on things monumental.

Our world is changing before our very eyes and it’s a strange and wonderful thing. I foresee that things we thought were valuable will become obsolete. I see things that we never thought we needed becoming essential.

People are changing too. I’ve seen memes about it on Facebook. Mentions of family values, cleaner air and cleaner closets. Some folks have found solace in non-movement; others are going stir-crazy. Some folks are finding their political voice; others are getting in touch with their ‘helping or serving’ side and still others are communing with Nature in ways unknown to them until now.

All of this is positive change.

But there is negative change too. Just look at the fight for toilet paper. No, seriously. I don’t want to make light of people’s struggles.

Obvi there is huge economic impact. There are people who haven’t worked in weeks. What does that do to a person’s psyche and sense of worth? There are those who haven’t touched another human being in almost as long. Do we need physical closeness to feel loved and connected? Is a Zoom or Skype call enough to make us feel part of a community?

Social distancing can easily become social isolation. There was talk about this early in the pandemic, but honestly, I have stopped listening to the news so I don’t know if it’s still being discussed.

Even myself, I’ve felt lately like I’ve been spending too much time inside my own head, which can be a dark and critical place. I need fresh perspective. Don’t we all?

I foresee the failing of businesses, attitudes and values that we’ve held dear for decades. I foresee the rise of innovation, creativity and unprecedented grit. I foresee bankruptcy filings alongside new money millionaires. Whatever keeps us going will continue. As a community, a culture, a species, we will adapt, reinvent. I don’t know what it will look like, but it’s gonna be a wild ride.

My Mask and Me

A mask used to be something only people who worked in the Operating Room wore. Until COVID-19. Slowly, the whole country’s identity began to ebb away beneath the anonymity of a mask. While made of different fabrics, different prints and many constructed of odd materials, such as 2-liter soda bottles or brassieres, these masks have become a fixture of our society. You might even say ubiquitous.Some locales were slow adopters while others immediately donned this cumbersome yet essential garb in the era of highly infectious, airborne virus.

While I have seen many picture galleries of mask oddities, I am here to tell you my unique perspective.

I was not an early adopter. Considering myself to be of exemplary health (it’s OK to roll your eyes), I did not think myself a prime candid for the dreaded COVID-19. But as more bizarre stories began to surface and more people great and small became infected, I began to rethink my misguided invincibility.

Many people are reporting that they think they fell ill with COVID in February, before stay-at-home orders began to fall. I’ve talked to some that suspect that they had it as far back as December!

So now we’re all wearing masks. They are mandatory in many places. I’ve been fortunate enough to procure mine through community resources. When the first shipment arrived, we analyzed the fabric for weight and pattern and the ear loops for comfort and suitability. What we thought was going to be a short-lived “fling” with a mask has turned into a long-term affair where fashion-sense has shown to be a poor predictor of ease-of-use.

I selected 2 masks that I thought would service me well. One was a lovely plaid on one side and solid autumn orange on the other. The second is less flashy but serviceable in its understatedness; it’s solid light blue on one side with a sage green floral pattern on the other. I opted to wear both masks with the printed side out.

I quickly realized that the more I talked while wearing the mask, the more air I tried to suck in, which inevitably caused me to suck in fabric. (frowny face) I also learned that talking caused the fabric to inch down my chin, kind of like an errant sock works its way towards the toe of a shoe, thus, nearly revealing my nose. Oh, the horror!

Thirdly, I learned that if I was to wash these buggers every day/time that I went out, 2 was not nearly enough. Enter mask #3. She is different from her sisters in that she has ties instead of ear loops and she is a single, double-thickness of brick-red fabric with a sassy fern and floral pattern. I think she likes being different.

So I’m a mask wearing fool these days. I find that I am selecting clothes and make-up according to what mask I’m wearing. Lipstick is a think of the past, so eye-catching eye shadow is a must. I try to apply said make-up more than 30 minutes before departure, otherwise, all my make-up rubs off on the interior of the mask!

One of the nice things about the mask: the ear loops hold my unwieldy hair out of my eyes. I’ve seen where some folks have fashioned a headband to which the mask attaches with buttons! It’s amazing how innovative people are. They’ve taken 2 inconveniences, wearing a mask and not being able to get a haircut, and relieved these with a single innovation. Brill.

So we are a mask-wearing society. Not the gun-slinging, cowboy boot-wearing bunch of the Wild West, but a socially conscious, caring & careful society trying to make our way.

Unlikely Bedfellows

I’ve developed a particular fondness for the flavor combination of dates + Spanish olives. I think this idea was originally borrowed from some random recipe that I glanced over while at the Laundromat, but it’s become a staple for me of late.

This brings to light the idea of “odd combinations”. One of the goals of The Helpful Plate is to teach and encourage folks to experiment in their kitchens. This causes many great anxiety, especially my readers who are strict recipe followers. But little ventured, little gained, right? I’m here to help. While I’m the first to admit that some of my “odd combinations” have been less than stellar, some have been magically delicious! wink (This is a nod to revelations in my recent Instagram post on my sketchily nutritious upbringing.)

The sweetness of dates and briny, umami enhancing flavor of the olives seem like a perfect combination to me. Herbs are another area where you can find surprising, yet complimentary flavors such as mint + oregano, or cinnamon & cumin or cacao and salt. I find that spices we typically put in sweet dishes can provide a delightful zing when paired with classically savory herbs. And who doesn’t love a little heat? I put black pepper, cayenne or red pepper flakes in many dishes both sweet and savory.

I can’t remember another time when using what you have has been more important. In the era of Coronavirus, we are all forced to make concessions. We are shifting our expectations; we are conquering our fears and we are banding together….sometimes in “odd combinations” and unlikely bedfellows….and I’m not just talking about food.

During a crisis, people tend to be more gracious and generous. This seems to be a wonderful upshot of sequestration. I am in great hopes that some of these habits will continue beyond social distancing. Maybe we will remember the food insecure beyond this time. Maybe checking on our elderly neighbors will become a regular habit. Maybe community support, the joining of white, black and brown hands will feel more normal and expected as we work side-by-side daily to help each other.

When we have time on our hands to reflect, we realize what is REALLY important. We can plainly see that relationships, people are what deserve our attention. So folks, take this opportunity to center, to focus, to reflect and connect. Keep your eyes open to opportunities to help. Who knows? You might find that unlikely bedfellow that is the perfect complement.

Helllllooooo!

My spouse’s birthday was this past week. I’d been planning the day we would spend together for weeks. Luckily, since we are ‘in the woods’ kind of people, the need to social distance from other humans didn’t affect us much.

The day started out in much the same fashion as many others. We got up….well…that’s pretty much where the routine ended. I dashed out the door to run a couple of errands, including getting coffee and going to the Laundromat before all the other humans in my community started stirring. I was feeling pretty good about supporting local businesses and before I knew it, it was getting on towards noon.

We’d planned to meet at the house at noon and head out to hike. We are fortunate to live about an hour away from a national forest. We were in a slight dilemma about taking our dogs, one of which is 7. Since the day was warm and our 7-year-old is as black as midnight, we didn’t know if it would be too much for her. But we decided to include them, and decided that we could cut short our hike, if our girl seemed in distress.

It was a beautiful warm spring day and driving to the forest was lovely for both canines and humans. We tuned up some Lynyrd Skynyrd, rolled the windows down and set out with our backpack full of beef jerky, nutty granola bars and water.

The hike proved to be both challenging and rewarding. We walked for a few hours, taking breaks to water the animals and ourselves. We talked a little, but mostly we enjoyed listening to the birdsong, the hard breathing, the distant roar of a motorcycle now and then and the steady thomp of all 12 feet of our collective party.

I can’t tell you how pleasing this experience was. I’m learning to relax into social distancing and finding peace with my own company. It doesn’t hurt that I’m sheltering in place with my best friend and life partner.

Our hike was an out and back; we hiked to the top of a ridge and then turned to make our meandering way back to the car. About halfway back, we began to fatigue and I noticed a new sound, the regular harmupf of a toe that stumbles over a root or rock and the consequent rapid intake of air as we caught ourselves before a nasty fall. It made me wonder how we, as a culture, will react as we fatigue of self-isolation. Will we be brave soldiers and understand that our actions are necessary to save others? Will we view our actions as heroic?

Or will we become sullen and slovenly, eating all the junk food we can find and binge watching Netflix?

Or will we become peaceful and content and relish the company of ourselves and our animals?

I don’t know the answer. I suspect there will be a little of all 3. I am worried about the folks in the restaurant and hospitality industry, but frankly, I think this is going to affect the financial situations of all of us. I hope the small businesses survive. I hope that we will remain kind and looking out for one another.

Everyone is doing the best they can. May this blogpost bring you peace. May you find some comfort. And when you you yell into the void, ‘Hellllooooo!’ know that someone out there is listening.

Whew!

Hey Everyone! How y’all doin?

It’s a crazy time. I have started 4 blog posts in the past month and not posted any of them. And now they all seem trivial and unimportant. i don’t know where to start.

I hope everyone is healthy and well. I know that our country is in a time of great anxiety and uncertainty. We are many days into the Coronavirus outbreak, but we are certainly not near its end. My attitude has gone from annoyance to bitterness to resignation to hope to contentment. It’s weird. I often have this range of emotions when my ‘life’ gets disrupted. I realize that I am selfish, but honestly, I think most Americans are…at least to a certain extent. But I’m working on that. So let’s focus on the positive.

Yesterday, I stayed at home; my husband had pulled up some dead fruit trees last weekend so we worked that soil. We pulled up roots and raked the soil and prepared it for planting something new. If felt good. I have only recently become interested in gardening. Up until now, I’ve felt like growing food and providing ornamentation to my yard was frivolous and not worth of my time. But now I see that these activities have great value ….for me, for my family, for the environment.

I’m reading Braiding Sweetgrass by Robin Wall Kimmerer; I picked it up on a trip trip to Asheville in January, not knowing if I’d enjoy it. The author is a scientist and Native American and she weaves beautiful stories of the science of plant life with how indigenous peoples viewed their role as caretakers of Mother Earth. It seems that industrialization has obliterated that caretaker viewpoint. We think our Mother can provide us with ALL that we WANT. I fear that we are quickly learning that that is not the case.

So I’m trying to mindfully consider my consumption, my activity and my attitude. And in this time of social distancing, it’s not so hard to manage. But I know times will change. Life will get back to ‘normal’. I hope to take some of this peace, community-mindedness and reflectiveness with me.

For now, here are some things that might help you during your social isolation.

• Read a book - something that’s been sitting on your shelf for a while that you’ve never had time to read might be an interesting place to start.

• Get your hands dirty - if you’re a gardener already, this will be easy, but if you’re not, try it, you might like it.

• Dance - put on your favorite jam and just boogy till your heart’s content in the privacy of your own home

• Sit outside and listen - to the birdsong, to the wind, to the cars…or lack thereof

• Clean out a closet - reducing clutter is known to bring calmness

• Play a game - mental stimulation is a positive in times of anxiety

• Order take-out, put on fancy clothes, light some candles, put on sexy music and have a date

• Give your dog a bath - we did this. It was super helpful for us; the dogs did not love it

• Prepare a home-cooked meal. I cook all the time and that is what this website is about; but for many, this is a struggle. Try putting together ingredients you have in your pantry and refrigerator. You might be surprised at how good is it. (And if you need help, shoot me an email!)

Above all else, stay calm. Believe that this is temporary. Trust in your fellow human beings. Be kind and grateful. Give to those less fortunate than yourself. Know that everyone is valuable and everyone can make a difference.

Language Barrier

“Tylenol is best for a headache.”

“Running is the best way to lose weight.”

“You should never eat oysters after April.”

“That is the prettiest dress I have ever seen.”

“That is the ugliest dress I have ever seen”

What are words? How do we use them? Is what we speak the same as what is received? It’s all about perspective.

In the age of prevalent electronic communication, must is lost. How do you infer tone from an email? (Have you ever gotten an email in all CAPS and assumed the sender was yelling at you?)

What is the other person’s frame of reference? What is their background conversation? Those voices in people’s heads telling them how to interpret the stimulus around them.

I come from a long line of over-thinkers. It is so easy to assume malice or ill-will in the absence of body language. This is especially true if your internal dialogue veers towards negativity.

How many people are even aware of this background conversation? This lens through which we process information.

The Bible says, “So let’s stop condemning each other. Decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another to stumble and fall. (Romans 14:13) If we do this, should we consider that our causal criticisms, sarcasm or coarse jokes might offend our neighbors or do we chalk it up to ‘this is just how I am” or “they are just sensitive”.

Guys, I am not preaching here; I honestly don’t know the answers. My favorite expletive begins with the letter “F..” My beverage of choice with dinner is fermented. And I have 7 pieces of art on my body. I am sure these facts would not sit well with some and would be overtly offensive to others.

But do my words and actions cause others to stumble and fall? I hope not. I try to approach all communications and situations with trust, gratitude and compassion, both for myself and those around me.

This ain’t easy, folks. We are constantly bombarded with stimuli. In the age of easy access to information, we are forced to make split-second decisions, to evaluate and move on!

But if life is moving that fast, are we enjoying it? Mindfulness is the idea of enjoying the present moment. It’s not always easy but more and more research is pointing to the detriment of trying to multi-task. What does this have to do with communication and a language barrier? I can tell you that I’ve been sitting at my desk when someone walks in. I’m annoyed at the interruption so I try to type and talk at the same time. Am I being considerate? Am I really listening to my visitor? Am I being mindful? NO. I can tell you that PEOPLE are always more important. So I’m trying. I’m trying to be present and I’m trying not to read emotions or assumptions into written communication that are not there.

All of this seems like a garbled stream-of-consciousness commentary on a variety of subjects….and it is.

But effective communication is the foundation of successful interpersonal relationships. So I think the importance of clarity of voice and purpose, the importance of listening and the importance of being present cannot be overstated.

Here’s another thing I believe to be true: No matter what your love language is, no matter how large or small your vocabulary and no matter how difficult the message you have to deliver, if you give and receive with gratitude, love and compassion, everything will be all right.

The Morning (Mourning) of Change

Have you ever awakened on the morning of a new adventure? A new job, a new project, a new house, a vacation, your wedding day?

It’s usually exciting, right? Don’t most people look forward to these things?

But there are other changes that are not so exciting….or welcome. The first morning after a loss. There are big losses and lesser losses but they all bring about change. And sometimes the “loss” is moving on after achieving a goal and you have to start over.

One of the weirdest periods of mourning I’ve experienced was upon the completion of Ironman. Once the euphoria of the accomplishment faded, which happens amazingly quickly, I felt lost. I had spent hours training for months. Suddenly, I had all this extra time on my hands and didn’t know what to do with it. I had NO plan for AFTER Ironman. I’ve experienced similar feelings of loss at the completion of major project, graduate school for example.

When you are focused on a goal and spend a crazy amount of time and energy to accomplish it, there is a serious sense of emptiness when it’s over. Maybe that’s why I do so much ‘stuff’.

I’ve always considered myself more process-oriented than goal-oriented, so maybe that’s what I crave, process. (Note: I do not consider myself competitive either, but that’s the subject for another post.)

So here’s the other fact about the morning (mourning) of change: Everybody loves a winner.

Do you believe that? Did some ‘authority’ ever tell you, ‘Second place is the 1st loser!’

Well, I cry bull$h!t on that!

Our culture is so driven to be the best. We push our kids to get the best grades so they can get into the best colleges so they can get degrees so they can get the best jobs. If everyone is trying for ‘the Best’, what does it mean for those who aren’t valedictorian or who don’t get into medical school or who don’t land the job with the 6-figure salary or who don’t win the race?

I fear that we are turning into a culture of competitive A-holes. Pardon my French but this is destructive behavior and I feel very passionately about this subject.

I just watched a documentary on the rising rate of teen depression and suicide. Bullying is one reason for this, but I think this obsession with “the best” is another. PS. Competition - the separation of ‘us’ versus ‘them’ is prime fodder for bullying.

So what do we do? It’s not healthy to stand still or to be a doormat either. Where is the balance?

For me, this balance is 2 things:

1. Recognizing MY contribution

2. Focusing on helping others

Let me tell y’all something. That Ironman that I referenced earlier? I did not come in first, or one hundred and first. You are allowed 17 hours to finish an Ironman. The last one I did, I finished in just over 16 hours. Yep. There were probably 30-40 people still out there when I crossed the finish line. The balance of the approximately 1800 that started were long finished. They were probably showered and long past enjoying their recovery meal.

But….I DID IT! And finishing was the goal. When people asked how I did, I said, ‘Great.’ Some asked (even my mom), ‘Did you win'?’ Well, strictly speaking, no, I did not win. but it was a win for me.

So this post is really about 2 things: navigating change and finding your best, irrespective of societal opinions and norms.

I hope y’all strive. I hope you try new things. I hope everyone experiences the euphoria of accomplishment and navigates the uncertainty of newness with grace. But I also hope that you do YOUR BEST every day and disregard what others think or say. Because they don’t get to judge your best; only you get to decide that. And being the best YOU is all that is important.

Comfort and Joy

This morning I woke up in a funk. I didn’t sleep well due in part, to the fact that my recovery smoothie, consumed after 4 pm yesterday, contained protein powder with caffeine.

I did some work despite feeling antsy, and as I do every day, I completed my devotional. I landed in Romans chapter 5 and mulled over the following words:

Peace, Faith, Hope, Perseverance, Joy, Love

In this post-Christmas season, it’s easy to feel listless and lost. Even though many are striving towards achievements in the New Year, it’s just not the same as the festive feel and joyous anticipation of the Christmas season.

That’s why I was so thrilled to stumble upon Comfort & Joy at the local coffee shop. Scrawled on an enormous coffee cup in the window of the shop, no doubt a holdover from Christmas festivities, this metaphorically, yet physically large reminder DID bring me comfort and joy.

Ironically, as I observed this timely message, I watched the town employees rip up the Christmas trees from the sidewalk stands and throw the wreaths in the back of a truck, seemingly useless now.

But are these things really useless? Are they just a sign of our impermanence and the disposable nature of our society? Or are they beacons of Hope and Joy?

I’ve been a practicing Christian for decades. I grew up going to church. Most of my friends are not church-goers. The older I get, the more sure I am of what my faith journey means and the angrier I get at how ‘Christians’ are portrayed by Christians. To me this monoker simply means to love others, to show kindness, to be respectful of Mother Nature and care for our planet, and to strive for commonality and unity instead of pointing out differences. I’m not very good at it but I’m committed. I told our current pastor when he first arrived that I drink beer, have many tattoos, use colorful language and believe in the saving grace of Jesus Christ. Our pastor is a bit younger than I am, so I thought I could get away with this and guess what? I did! He was nothing but gracious.

What, you may ask, does any of this have to do with good health and proper nutrition?

Well, I’ll tell you. My personal opinion involves the care and nurture of the WHOLE person: mind, body and spirit. I’ve known many seemingly perfect humans who SEEK. They are beautiful on the outside but hollow on the inside. They continually seek.

My faith has helped me fill that void inside…that space that feels large and empty when the newness wanes. The let-down after a particularly joyous season. The emptiness that settles in when a goal is reached and the feeling of victory has faded. But that’s life, right? Yep, it is. It’s just that sometimes we need a pick-me-up that this world with all its imperfections and headaches can’t provide.

Don’t get me wrong, my friends aren’t heathens. I hang out with some amazing people. These are folks with BIG, generous hearts who DO for others and have impact. I’m surrounded by goodness….and grateful for it.

If I lost you at the word devotional, that’s a shame. I wish you the best in your journey. I hope that time and love heal your wounds. I hope you laugh with joy and live life to its fullest and that your path is lit and your step is light.

Be well my friends.

A whole new you

Whew! It’s been a minute. How are y’all? I am recovering from travel and a head cold, but otherwise OK. I feel the need to address the new year, so here goes…

Let me preface by saying that I dislike Mew Year’s resolutions. I think they set people up for failure.

First of all, if you’ve been putting off a goal, what makes January 1 the magic moment when you’ll stick to a plan? Secondly, what makes January 1 a special date?

I don’t know; I guess this concept is good for some, but almost everyone I’ve ever talked to that ‘set’ a New Year’s resolution ended up disappointing themselves.

But for the sake of argument and tradition, let’s go down the New Year’s resolution path.

Many people have health goals. Some have financial goals. Still others have relationship or professional goals.

What do your New Year’s resolution(s) look like? Do you consider this at all? Do you look at the new year as a fresh start?

Guess what folks? You get a fresh start every morning that you wake up alive!

Resolutions, goals, objectives, life plans, or whatever you want to call them should not be so daunting as to be unattainable. They should be a stretch, though. Also, goals should not have time limits…expiration dates. Guess what? Life happens and if you set a time limit, you might give up if you don’t achieve the goal by the set time.

You know what else is important when setting goals? A support system. If you are hanging out with people doing the activity that you are trying to stop… make new friends! For that matter, if you are the highest achiever in your friendship group, aspire higher.

How many goals should you have? The easy answer is one. One at a time. Set a list of 5-10 objectives to consider, but SET ONE goal to work on every day. If you’re a Rachel Hollis fan, you already know this. The point is to work on improvement, not to be overwhelmed by your shortcomings.

So how do you start? The most complete answer is to do a 360-degree assessment. Brian Dixon has referenced this concept in his coaching work and podcasts. This is done most commonly in professional settings, but you can use it for personal growth. You simply ask your friends, family, and coworkers to give you feedback. What are your 3 greatest strengths and what are your 3 greatest weaknesses?

But you can formulate your goals using a self assessment. But be honest with yourself because if you’re not, what good is it?

Lastly, if you KNOW you’re not going to attempt change, don’t start. Don’t set the goal. That is a recipe for disaster and disappointment. It’s like smoking cessation : you have to be ready to make a change. And if you’re not, that’s OK! Just own it.

I’m not gonna lie, 2019 was a pretty good year for me. But I’m looking forward to 2020 and trying to be the best ME I can be every day!

🥂

Cauli-POWER

I’m not gonna lie, y’all, I struggled with this week’s blogpost. I had a lot of ideas, but none seemed worthy to follow Tips for Managing the Holiday Season.

So I pulled out one I had in reserve. This is on the IT vegetable…..cauliflower. I know it’s not sexy. It’s not wine from Italy or ham from Spain or cheese from from France. It’s a humble vegetable. Heck, it isn’t even colorful. So WHY is cauliflower the IT vegetable?? It’s in so many recipes right now; it’s unreal! I think cauliflower has gotten a bad wrap for a long time. It’s kind of stinky. It looks kind of like a science experiment; so what do you do with cauliflower?? Well, I’m going to tell you, but not before I extol the virtues of cauliflower.

Cauliflower is cruciferous vegetable; the same family as broccoli and cabbage. It is loaded with Vitamin C, potassium, folate, Vitamin K and Vitamin B6. I won’t bore you with why you need these things, but suffice it to say that you need them in your daily diet.

1 cup of cauliflower has about 30 calories, 2 grams of protein, 2 grams of fiber and negligible fat. The fiber in cauliflower is raffinose, which isn’t completely digestible, and gives some people gas…so there’s that as a downside to our magic vegetable.

But let’s talk about cauliflower’s versatility and uses:

• It’s a non-starchy vegetable, unlike potatoes or rice (is rice even a vegetable?)

• It’s grain-free

• It’s compliant with a Vegan diet

• It has a low glycemic index

• It’s like a chameleon - it can absorb flavors and be a ‘base’ for almost anything!

So let’s talk about what you can do with cauliflower! When I was a kid, I only got it boiled. (insert yuck-face here). In fact, back then, not too many people used steamers, so when I say boiled, I mean mush. Yuck! But today, people are using it to sub for all sorts carb-based dishes.

Don’t eat rice? ‘Rice’ your cauliflower and use it just as you would regular rice, with roasted veggies, curry or baked chicken.

Not sure if you want all the calories in mashed potatoes? Steam or boil cauliflower and add seasonings to it and mash it. If you’re lucky, your 7-year-old won’t know the difference.

Going vegan and want to eat steak? Slice a head of cauliflower into steaks and grill just like you would a slab of meat.

How about pizza? Have you seen the boon in cauliflower-based pizza crusts? There are recipes out there, but I buy mine frozen. It’s one of the few things that I buy pre-packaged. PS. We rarely eat pizza, so I don’t feel like this is a significant compromise. But I have seen recipes for cauliflower pizza crust and even cauliflower gnocchi!

The versatility of this humble vegetable is unsurpassed. The last IT vegetable was kale and I don’t think its popularity was as widespread. Kale tends to be tough and people with food texture issues tend to eschew it. (Because they can’t chew it. Ha! I crack myself up. ) But cauliflower appeals to the masses. If you truly don’t like the flavor, you can camouflage it with spices, or flavored olive oil, or sauce. AND it’s available at any grocery store.

So if you haven’t given cauliflower a try, I encourage you to try it. Google ‘cauliflower steak’ or ‘cauliflower rice’ or cauliflower gnocchi’. I guarantee you’ll get a bunch of hits.

And if you find something fabulous, let us know. Either use the Contact us button on the homepage or hit us up on FB or IG!

Happy ‘flowering!

Tips for Managing the Holiday Season

It is Dec. 1st so time to start thinking about the Holiday party season. I’m here to offer some tips that I’ve learned over the years. Some of these I learned via trial and error and others I’ve learned from valued friends and other resources.

First, know that managing the Holidays takes planning. You can’t go by the seat of your pants and expect to get to January 1 feeling great. So take a little time to read through these and tuck the ones that seem helpful to you, into your holiday toolbox. With a little strategic planning, you can truly enjoy ‘the most wonderful time of the year’!

1) HYDRATE - This is my #1 tip. There are a plethora of evils brought on by dehydration. Here are just a few. Dehydration is the main cause of a hang-over. Dehydration may feel like hunger, making you grab crackers and a cheese ball rather than water. (Hello holiday weight gain!). Dehydration makes you more susceptible to germs; who wants to be sick at Christmastime? Dehydration accentuates fine lines and wrinkles and does nothing for those bags under your eyes. So hydrate, hydrate, hydrate! Drink half your body weight in ounces of water every day.

2. Have a small, healthy snack before going to a party. I like to eat a small apple with nut butter, but some celery sticks with cheese or yogurt with organic granola would serve you well also. You want complex carbs + a little protein and fat. When you eat something healthy beforehand, you are less likely to binge on not-so-healthy party food. Plus, if alcohol is served, you won’t be entering on an empty stomach.

3. If you are going to a pot-luck, take a health-conscious contribution. If I’m taking something to a gathering, I always take something that is good for me in case all the other options are less healthy ones.

4. Alternate alcoholic beverages with water or sparkling water. See tip #1.

Hydrate, Moderate, Rest, Enjoy!

5. Arrive late and leave early. I know, I know. This one’s going to be unpopular. But here’s what you don’t want: a) to be sloshed when you leave, b) to run out of stimulating conversation and c) to stay so late that your host is yawning.

6. Don’t participate in cookie exchanges or work pot-luck dinners. This too, may be unpopular. While I’m ALL for socializing with your friends, I’m NOT for allowing yourself to eat crap just because it’s the Holidays. Examine your motives for participating. Do you want to fit in? Are you afraid you’re going to hurt someone’s feelings? Do you look forward to this every year and if so why? Try to view this more in relation to the people rather than the food and give yourself permission to be in control of YOU. Show up with a hostess gift or decorations for your work’s holiday party and be done. No one will like you less because of your willpower.

7. Hang out with health-minded people. If your friends are healthy, you won’t have to stress about what will be served at their holiday gathering. That’s been the biggest help for me. It’s awesome to go to a pot-luck with all your cycling friends and see a table full of colorful veggie dishes!

8. Exercise the day of your party, although not excessively. Don’t use exercise to try to burn all the calories that you’re going to consume. This is a dangerous game that many people play. I don’t like the idea of using food as a reward. Food is for nourishment and enjoyment and attaching emotions of reward and punishment to it is unhealthy (and an unhealthy example for young people.)

9. GET ENOUGH SLEEP. Although everyone’s sleep needs are different, it is imperative that you get enough sleep during the Holidays which are already stressful. Lack of sleep does all sorts of wonky things to your metabolism. Plus, it sets you up for making mistakes at work, snapping at your friends and family and disrupts your coping skills. This is probably my #2 favorite tip.

10. Be polite, stay grounded and do NOT be the yes person. It is perfectly OK to say no. See tip #6. I live in the South, and we are people pleasers. During the Holidays, really think about what you want and do it and say no to everything else. While you may not be able to say NO to going to Christmas dinner at your mom’s house because Aunt Mildred will be there, you can certainly set limits.

All of these tips are about moderation. Enjoy your holiday season and don’t be afraid to make some changes to your traditions this year. Maybe you scale back on the Christmas decorations if you really hate putting them up. Maybe you say ‘No thanks’ to that one party that your former neighbor throws that you endure every year. Maybe you commit to 1 glass of wine at the company Christmas party. Maybe you buy your spouse the cheapest thing on his/hers wish list and give a homemade gift certificate for a back rub.

I encourage you to take control of your life, your happiness and your Holiday!

Happy Holidays!

More...

More is a concept very familiar to most Americans, even when we’re not consciously thinking about it. Let’s face it; we are a society of excess. As we move into the Holiday Season, I am acutely aware of this concept. As a food blogger, the most obvious source of excess is overeating. But we also tend to over-spend. We are more of everything. We start seeing Christmas displays before Thanksgiving. We start Black Friday on Wednesday; and I’m sure there are many more examples of this that escape my mind at the moment.

Several years ago, we stopped giving gifts at Christmastime. I know this in itself seems extreme. But my husband finds the commercialism surrounding Christmas particularly distasteful. The first year we limited each person (including the grandparents) to 3 gifts each with a spending limit of $50. The next year we drew names and the year after that, we stopped gift-giving altogether. I’m not gonna lie, it was hard at first. I loved shopping at Christmas…and I don’t mean online shopping. I mean going to the crowded malls, hearing the Christmas music, fighting the crowds and scouring the aisles and shelves for the perfect gift. It was like a game for me. And I love a challenge. The problem is that it never, or at least rarely, turned out like I thought it would. The receiver was never quite as joyful as I thought they’d be. The high of spending quickly wore off and I was left just as headachey and shaky as if I’d eaten a bunch of Christmas cookies.

Since we’ve stopped giving gifts, Christmas is nothing but joy for me. The first giftless year, my daughters and I had a spa day on Dec. 28th at the Pinehurst resort.. That gave us something to look forward to. My younger daughter and I still go to NYC around Christmas most years, and that gives me the adrenaline surge I crave. Lord knows there are crowds, and cold weather, enormous Christmas trees and beautiful window displays there.

But MORE is about more. I hate the current meme that says, ‘Be sure to dial your scales back 15 lbs.’ I think we should live our best lives EVERY day. Who wants to wake up on Jan. 1 and think about all the weight you’ve got to shed and all the bills you’ve got to pay?

I realize that this post is eerily similar to my last one, Banish Holiday Stress, but it’s a testament to how strongly I feel about this subject. Shunning excess during the Holiday Season has been a journey for us, but I am so glad we did it. In fact, I think my husband is a genius! Do you know that when our kids were little, he declared that Santa would bring no gift valued more than any gift that was from Mom and Dad? Years later I see what a gift that simple act was to our children. They are productive, hard-working people who don’t expect things to be given to them. They were never the kids whose first question when mom and dad returned from a trip was, ‘What’d you bring me?’

I am proud of the existence that we’ve built but it continues to be a journey. The journey to fight cultural norms, to enjoy experiences instead of things, to desire relationships rather then a larger paycheck, and to be grateful for every breath, sunrise, laugh line and good night’s sleep.

I hope y’all have a FABULOUS Thanksgiving! I hope to be posting some cool pics of our celebration on Social. Gobble! Gobble!

Banish Holiday Stress

This past Wednesday, I was fortunate enough to participate in a wonderful (and timely) workshop called Banish Holiday Stress. To give you a little background, back in 2017, I had the opportunity to be part of an event called ‘Night of Empowerment’ which was a fashion show to benefit Friend to Friend. It was so powerful and people were so happy; it was really amazing. Women came out in droves dressed to the nines!

This made me think that we should have an event where we celebrated women’s insides rather than their outsides. About that same time, there were a lot of ‘movements’ in the US: Me too, black lives matter, blue lives matter, and our country and our world felt really divided. So I started a non-profit called Reach Moore, which is a grassroots organization aimed at helping women live their best lives through positive self-image, personal responsibility and community involvement. I want to connect women with the resources they need in our community.

Fast forward to this year when my friend Alisa says, ‘When is the Reach Moore’ event this year?’ And I say, ‘That was a one-shot deal because I am a one-woman show.’ But Alisa felt like the cause was worthy so she volunteered to host an event and Banish Holiday Stress was born.

We had 4 fabulous contributors who spoke to us about financial responsibility (Tell your money what to do), managing stress (explaining the detriment of constant release of adrenaline and cortisol on our bodies), nutritional responsibility (not only making good choices but delving into understanding why we feel guilt around food and the genesis of our belief systems around food) and we finished with mindfulness vial guided meditation.

We had a great turnout and while I thought I was helping to bring insight to others, I learned something too! Stress is an insidious component of daily life. We don’t even realize it when we are stressed! What is up with that? I was blown away by the wisdom of these 4 ladies. I really believe they were a gift from God. Just before Thanksgiving, when we are hustling and bustling, we were reminded to really pay attention. Here are some of the take-aways that I found; maybe they can help you too.

• Help control expenditures by allocating cash for certain items and putting it in a designated envelope. When the cash is gone, your shopping trip is over.

• Every time you eat, think about why you are eating. Are you hungry or trying to appease an emotion?

• Think about your belief systems around food. Do you feel guilty when you eat? If so, why?

• Be mindful this Holiday season. Take time daily to stop, take some deep breaths and reconnect with your body and your surroundings.

• Try to manage your expectations. Know that your Holiday table is not going to be the Norman Rockwell painting. There will be spilt milk, screaming kids, arguing relatives and a myriad of other things to go wrong.

• Find your ‘happy bubble’ the place where you are most content and try to stay there. Know what your triggers are. A place of homeostasis is what is most healthy for the human body.

Lastly, ENJOY your Holiday! Life will always throw you curveballs, but as my husband says, it’s all about the journey! Work at being grateful for every minute!

Yes, Doctor

Americans put great stock in what physicians say and the recommendations that they make. My dad loves to see the doctor…not in a hypochondriac kind of way, but in a he’s-the-smartest-person-I-know kind of way.

For decades we’ve been led to believe that the surgeon general, the FDA and other ‘smart’ agencies and people have it all figured out. In an earlier post, I mentioned my foray into eating patterns such as fat-free, low-carb, Keto and so forth. This largely came about due to the recommendations of ‘experts’.

With the advent of the Internet, people’s knowledge, comfort and command of their own health has grown by leaps and bounds. We no longer have to go to a doctor to get the best advice. You can Google anything. Although healthy skepticism is still advisable when trusting online sources, I have come to believe that our health is in our own hands. I actually changed physicians in the past 2 years because I found someone who speaks my language. She says, ‘Food is medicine.’ Can I get an Amen! IMHO, mainstream medical training, at least in the US, revolves around FIXING something that’s already gone awry. As a testament to this, we are spending billions of dollars per year on medications! Why not just prevent ill health to start with?!

This brings me to the real subject of this talk. Dr. Mark Hyman. HE speaks my language. First-off, let me offer you a disclaimer. I am not being paid by Dr. Hyman and I only own 2 of his books. I just happen to believe that his beliefs about food and his science are solid. It’s a bonus that he’s a bonafide physician.

Let me share with you a few of Dr. Hyman’s thoughts:

‘Today, the food industry has hijacked our kitchens, not by accident, but by design. It has rebranded cooking as a chore, a burden, drudgery.’

‘The industry subverts legitimate science by funding biased studies and deploying them to adversely influence food policies set forth by our government; it funds public health institutions that were originally designed to protect us, making them infective and even dangerous; it drives attitudes about food with tens of billions in food marketing. ‘

Wait, WHAT?? Can this be true? I am a rule follower to the core, so I have fought this idea for a long time. But so many trial and error diets left me feeling hungry, tired, unfulfilled and miserable. That’s why I came to believe in the power of (whole) food. (See previous post.)

Did you know that Betty Crocker was not a real person? I actually did not know this until recently. She was invented by the food industry more than 40 years ago to get mothers to incorporate processed foods into home-cooked meals.

Do you have a Betty Crocker cookbook? I do and it was my absolute FAVORITE when I first got married. But when I read that BC was not real, I went back and realized that EVERY recipe has a processed food in its ingredient list. I can’t believe how gullible I am…well, I can. Again, rule-follower here.

Ok, down to the nitty-gritty. I have taken control of my life and my eating. And I’m here to help you do the same. I highly recommend Dr. Mark Hyman’s new book FOOD, What the Heck Should I Cook? The recipes are super accessible and the commentary at the beginning, PRICELESS!

one size DEFINITELY does not fit all

I have long been known to have self confidence issues. Only those that know me extremely well know this. I hide it well. Our culture is filled with insidious implications that you are NOT (insert trait here) enough. My most recent fav tune is Lauren Daigle’s You Say. If you are not familiar with her or her music, I highly recommend that you check her out.

What makes our cultural expectations even more harmful is that it pushes people to the opposite extreme. Instead of inspiring us to be better, our culture actually is more likely to make us say, ‘Oh well, I will never be that, so I just won’t try at all.’ This is especially dangerous with regards to health, food choices and weight. I know I’m treading in uncomfortable territory here. We are not allowed to fat shame, and I am certainly not advocating that we do. What I am advocating for is personal responsibility AND recognition of the fact that our food culture is flawed, so flawed in fact that it’s dangerous.

Our society is growing and I mean that quite literally. Childhood obesity is at an all-time high. Type II diabetes is commonplace. Yet, some of the cheapest meals can be obtained at the most unhealthy places! What is UP with that? Did you know that I emailed President Obama and told him that I thought a Big Mac should cost $12 and an apple should cost a dime? How about them apples? 😅 Seriously, I just don’t understand. Do people not understand that even if ‘there’s a pill for that’ that they will FEEL better if they just eat healthfully and exercise? And by exercise, I mean walking the dog, dancing with the kids or taking the steps instead of the elevator. This doesn’t have to be hard.

But we’ve made everything too easy. So we don’t want to work for anything. I do not mean to step on toes here. What I am trying to do is help.

Come to me with your food prep questions, your food budget questions and your food choice concerns. I will do my BEST to guide you towards a better life. I sincerely believe that we can turn our health crisis around, but it will take a voice, and then a village and finally a NATION of advocates. I hope you will join me on this journey.

FallIng….

Fall has finally shown up. I wore a coat and scarf yesterday for the first time this season…. and it felt good. I love the feeling when the Seasons change. I love anticipating the change, the different clothes, the different foods, the different attitudes.

But some changes are not so welcome. Many changes are uncomfortable.

I experienced some weird feelings this week when I attended the retirement celebration for my mentor. I had not worked with her in nearly 25 years, but her influence still pervades much of my decision-making at work. I saw former coworkers that I hadn’t seen in many years; I loved working with these people! We had such a great time back then. Money was good; we had great parties; we hung out together and got drinks on Fridays after work.

While it was great to see my friends, the weirdness was around the space. The work space is SO different than the work space I had shared with these treasured people oh-so-many years ago. And in the blink of an eye, I was both transported back to that time and realized that, as much as I LOVED that time and place, I can’t go back.

That may seem obvious to some but come on, isn’t there a time and place that you think of fondly and for just a moment think, ‘Ah, I wish I could go back.’?

But here’s the other thing I realized: I really don’t want to go back….because I’m better than I was back then. Here’s another weird part. You want to know what triggered this epiphany? It was the pantyhose one of my former coworkers was wearing. Yep, that’s right, pantyhose. Those pantyhose represented something outdated for me. I haven’t worn or owned pantyhose in probably 20 years. In flash of clarity, I knew that I am ON the correct path….with you, right here, right now.

That long-ago employment situation was perfect for me then and it shaped who I am now and I am proud to be her. I am also proud of who I am today. I have fought hard, dreamed dreams, done THINGS, raised kids and put my heart and soul into my work.
I don’t make butt loads of money and I don’t drive a fancy car. We don’t own a beach house and I don’t wear (insert popular brand here) jewelry, but I’m happy.

I learned the hard way that a significant salary does not make you happy. Every time I’ve indulged in retail therapy, I’ve found that like sugar, it’s a short-term high.

Look deep in your soul, folks. What makes you happy? What lights you up? What dream are you chasing? Because you are reading mine.

Go out and be AWESOME today!

A little time has passed

I am a couple weeks into building my website and have launched an IG page which is humming nicely. At >50 years of age, I’m finding the learning curve for all this to be quite steep. I go through regular peaks and valleys of emotion which looks like, ‘OMG, I’m going to be able to quit my day job next year and do this full-time!’ to ‘OMG, all is lost, I’ve wasted hours of my time and a modest amount of money only to discover that I’m too old for this; I can’t learn enough, so why bother?’

However, I am still committed. So far, I have brought meaningful and helpful content to our local CSA on stir-fries with bok, choy, pumpkins soup, pumpkin smoothies and how to cook collard greens. Not too shabby considering that this idea was basically birthed Labor Day weekend.

I want to bring people not necessarily what they WANT but what they NEED. I am passionate about good health and nutrition. Did you know that 80% of cancer diagnoses can be attributed at least partially to poor nutrition? That was a startling statistic to me. And I honestly believe that we can achieve good health through solid nutrition without being a gourmet chef and without spending half of our disposable income on food.

So that’s what I’m bringing to the table. This is my mission. To bring healthy recipes and food prep tips to REAL people. To teach them how to find local food that didn’t live on a truck for half its life. This is how humans were designed to live, to live authentically and eat seasonally. I want people to WANT to eat fruits and veggies. I want them to be EXCITED to try new foods.

And in the process, I would LOVE to curb America’s health crisis. I’m one person with a tiny voice. But if I can reach 1 person, who then reaches another person and so on, I REALLY believe we can make difference…in our health, in our environment and in our world.

And so it starts....

One day I’m an employee, the next day I’m a wife. A few more days after that I become a mom.

Isn’t that how life goes? We pass from role to role and pastime to pastime.

I’ve never been one to sit still. My husband calls me a verb.

So now I’m a writer, a photographer and an advocate. I invite you to follow The Helpful Plate. We hope to bring you useful, practical content that will enhance your life. Things that make you laugh, ponder and enjoy the life you are so ardently building.

At The Helpful Plate, we believe that everyone can live a fulfilling life.

Our Core Values include:

• Good nutrition

• Use of locally-sourced ingredients

• Positive self-image

• Community support and involvement

• Balanced lifestyle

We invite you on this journey with us!